Hey Mr DJ.....

If you had to choose 12 songs today that would represent the soundtrack of your life what would they be.  I thought about that today and I realized that music has been such a huge part of my life that I could not find just 12 songs.  I remember Mary J. Blige's My Life album. I still look in the albums linear notes for my name because I swear i could have co-wrote all those songs.  I just knew that "the sound of the rain, against my window pane..was slowly driving me insane!!" 

Another season that I remember was when Nas dropped Illmatic--from the cover with the little boy on the stoop in the projects, to songs like It Ain't Hard to Tell, The World is Yours and one of the best N.Y. anthems (sorry Jay-Z) N.Y State of Mind, that CD stayed in my DiscMan (not to be confused with a WalkMan).

I was not all hip hop though, I was so excited when the Neo-Soul genre crept on the scene.  Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Angie Stone, Musiq Soulchild, Anthony Hamilton and countless others allowed my generation to create that basement party, lights out, slow grind in the corner atmosphere that would be on mix tapes for years to come.



I also remember when a song in a movie would send you straight to the music store to get the CD.  Remember Boomerang?  Love Shoulda Brought You Home was the cut.  How about Waiting to Exhale, woman everywhere decided that they were "Not Gone Cry" and were "Shoop Shoop Shoopin" all over the place.  Another great movie soundtrack was the Love and Basketball soundtrack.  Meshell Ndegeocello did the thing with "Fool of Me"!  But with all those listed, I have yet to mention one of my favorite movie soundtracks--Brown Sugar! 'Nuf Said!

It is so amazing how much music is part of my life.  I remember the first time I heard Cold Play perform "Yellow", I never looked at a star the same again.  Take a moment today to remember the music that has shaped your life, the songs that got you through and the anthems that were playing when you were tearing things up.  Life is a journey full of twists and turns, valleys and mountains.

The list does not stop where I end, up to this point in my life, I have seen a lot of great artist come and unfortunately go...Tupac, Biggie, Phyllis Hyman, Marvin Gaye, Luther Vandross, Donny Hathaway and more recently artists like Teddy Pendergrass and Guru  There are no guarantees as to how things are going to turn out but I promise you one thing, someone has wrote a song about it and it is waiting to be added to your soundtrack.

Once you go Black...

In the middle of the night, my sleep is interrupted as I reach for you..My fingers trail across the sheets to grab for you..longing to run my hands across you..I am amored with the power that you hold over me..without you I am disconnected from the realities of this world..

Every time I hear you--my heart fills with desire and I rush to discover what you are going to fill my aural cavities with..Looking at you is like taking a glimpse into my own heart--You hold so many aspects of my life that without you I am lost..

There is something about the way we fit together..I have never been so connected...Everything that I have ever wanted to do, I can do with you..you are never afraid to introduce something new to the bond that we have...it seems that whenever you get turned on..you show me something I have never seen before and for that I am grateful..

Everyday I show my gratitude to you by fingering you repeatedly through the day..there has never been a time that I have allowed my fingers to run across you and there has not been a response..You always deliver..the plan that we have has cost me so much but it has all been worth it...When I touch certain areas you give me the sweetest melodies..

I have finally found a way to communicate and be heard and it is all because of you..It is true what they say...once you go black you never go back...It's me and you forever...

hahahahahaha...you keep me fly, on time and connected to the world!! Me and you will never part (lol...the first of many Color Purple references over the course of this blogs life...)

What did you think I was talking about...my BlackBerry is the only thing that I touch more than my Boo and I know she won't be jealous because she has one too!!!!

Sometimes I cry...

 The tears sort of just start streaming.  Some say that tears are cleansing, that since the eyes are the windows to the soul that when there are clouds overhead they cannot help but bring forth rain.  I do not know how true that is, I just know that sometimes I cry. It is not always someones fault. Sometimes it is over a commercial or a song or the gut wrenching profession of love in a romantic comedy  Sometimes it is because I did not hear something that I wanted to hear or I heard too much of things I did not want to know; regardless sometimes I cry.


Some days it is a single tear that streams down my cheek and rests, salty and wet, on my lips.  Other days it is as if my eyes have become oceans and the tears stream so fast that I can not stop them nor do I try.  On rare occasions I cry for the things that I have lost or the things I stand to gain.  Other times I cry for the things that I have but just don't appreciate.

Sometimes I cry because no matter how much I have, something in me thinks that if only it was this way or that way it would be better--or better yet, if only I were this way or that way things would be better.  Sometimes I cry for the woman that I am, the woman that I am not and the woman that I see myself becoming.  The tears that I cry are sometimes ambiguous.  Some days they are tears of joy, other days they burn with a bitter sting.  Sometimes they are the tears of silent pain that is only squashed by the biting of my tongue..No matter the cause, without regard, or rhyme and reason; the truth is--Sometimes I cry..

Get your hand out my pocket (book)...Purses worth fighting for...

Today is a great day, I have officially been a blogger for a week..Lets celebrate with my very first style/designer feature!

Today while perusing the net I happened across some BAD purses courtesy of Africa Style Daily. The designers name is Ruby Buah  from Ghana and she is fierce.  When I first saw the purse above all I could think about was last week at Church.  I don't know if the Lord was trying to give me a taste of what Hell would feel like or not but it was HOT in there.  All I longed for was a fan but I had nothing of the sort in my Coach bag.  Looking at this hand woven straw bag I see the potential for not only a fly bag but also a fully functional fan!  Ruby's creations combine style, artistry, creativity and mediums that are both unique yet cleverly compatible with any Fly Girls urban attire.

Now, this clutch,  is a must have!! The gold embellishments and hot pink jewel is an essential mate for that little black dress that should be in every Urbanista's closet.

And on to the pièce de résistance -- This beautiful creation in calf fur is named Adoley.  I can already think of three looks that I can attach this to with no new purchases necessary..All I can say is I am in love.

Now--quiet as kept, I was a little hesitant to share this precious jewel of a website because I would love to think that I was the only person to know about this gem and her creations but I suppose it is my blogger responsibility to spread the beauty. Selfish diva's never prosper!!

To see more of Ruby's collection please visit http://www.kuadesigns.com/.

Knowing is half the battle...

If you had to put a price on your life what would it be worth.  Is there a value that you would give every breath?  How much would you put on a smile or a laugh.  How would you quantify each step, each thought, each moment.

Have you come up with a price? If you have, I will tell you that it is not enough. Your life is priceless. 

Last week as part of an annual physical I had a total work up to include testing for HIV/AIDS.  Today all the results came in.  I wonder how many people know that, according to the Center for Disease Control, the leading cause of death for black women aged 25–34 years old is HIV.  What will it take for us to do something different?  I know for certain that if I do not love and respect me there is no mandate for others to do the same. And that includes respecting my body, my soul and my virtue.  Whether you be gay, straight or undecided for that matter, one thing is certain--Sex is not worth your life.

I know all day we are bombarded with images of breasts, bikini lines and/or six packs and triceps and biceps.  Songs promote promiscuity and Lord knows if I hear another male rapper wishing that he could F*#k every girl in the world or declaring that he wants "Becky" or a female rapper reminding me that she can use her "cooda cat" to get anything she desires I may literally lose the last nerve that I have been threatening people with for years (example - you are getting on my "last nerve). But that is still no excuse, is 3 dollars for a box of condoms too much of an investment into your future? Is that one second that it will take to request that the person you are about to share yourself with "strap it up" too long?

We have to be proactive and not reactive. The result of my HIV test was negative, but according to the statistics there is a women somewhere in this country who did not get the same news...Know the facts-Know your partner-Know your limits and please Know your Status.

Stiletto Sunday...A brief Tutorial

After viewing a few fashion mistakes "issues" at the show last night I decided to help a few of my misguided sisters, and brothers in heels out.  Today is now officially Stiletto Sunday!! The first order of business is shoe selection.  The reality of shoe selection is that all shoes have an expiration point.  Some shoes are "door to car to restaurant/movie to car to home" shoes.  They generally give you about 2-3 hours of comfort if you will be sitting down and do not have to stand/walk any extended length of time or distance. Next, you have your fly & frolic shoes.  These cute yet functional shoes have a 4-6 hour limit and will allow you to run light errands and stand and socialize with friends if necessary.  Finally you have your cool, calm, and comfort shoes, also referred to as the 3C shoes.  These shoes are perfect for those days when chaos seems to be the order of the day.  The 3C shoe can be worn to the mall for a long day of shopping or to the office and even though they are functional they do not, I repeat do not have to look like Granny's easy spirits.

Now on to heel size.  I personally prefer a 3+ inch heel for most occasions. If you too like a tall sexy heel be certain that you can walk in it.  The club is not the place for practice, it is the place for perfection. No one wants to see you limping or galloping like a horse in shoes that  you cannot maneuver. (MEMO: It is not cute to be seen in the club barefoot! Do you know what people do on these floors? Think about it!)

Now for the tip of the day-- If you like heels that are over 3 inches tall but the length causes your gait to suffer.  Look for a platform shoe.  Not like strippers and ladies of the night, nor like a pimp with the goldfish in the bottom (unless that is the look you are going for.) Today's platform shoe offers at least a half inch to an inch platform in front and still sports a 4-5 inch heel meaning that when you put them on it still feels like a 3-4 inch heel shoe. 



As always the most important rule in any fashion choice is to "Do You".  Fly is never about being  imitated ~ Fly is always about trends being created!!

Sidebar..Caution, contents are both sappy and painfully romantic!!

*Taking a break from my regularly scheduled Blog*

"Gotta date, date, date...Can't be late, late, late!"

I am so excited..tonight my shuga pie is taking me out.  Now don't be deceived, we do things together all the time.  But today is special.  I am dropping the cursing 4-year old off with a friend (he is still punished for his potty mouth), putting on some tight jeans (who can resist tight jeans) and letting my hair down!!

I cannot wait to see my baby...it is amazing that even though we talk everyday and see each other frequently I still get butterflies every time the phone rings..I still get anxious when I know that I we will see each other later. I still remember the day that we made our quite awesome relationship official and I have absolutely no regrets!!

Baby, I would not trade you for anything in this world (not even Chinese food and a Large Fountain Coke--and you know how much I love those things)! I love you and cannot wait to see you tonight!

P.S....Cool song huh mellow yellow? *wink*

*Now back to your regularly scheduled programming*

Public Service Announcement - Sexual Tourette Syndrome

Have you ever experienced mind blowing, earth shattering, heart breaking, soul shaking love making (thanks En Vogue)? During this time did you (or your partner) feel the inclination to yell out your partners name, words, terms and/or slurs that you do not commonly use on a day to day basis.  If so you are not alone.  I too suffer from this disorder.  It is called Sexual Tourette Syndrome (STS).

If you or a loved one have ever been on the verge of an orgasm and yelled out random expletives, body parts, vulgar names, or requested to be spanked, choked, rammed or uttered the term "beat it up", you may suffer from this disorder.  But do not despair, there is help.  

The next time you find yourself bent over, pressed up against a wall or stretched like a pretzel while on a queen sized bed and you feel the wave of a delicious orgasm swell through your body you can......well you should....if it is available you ought to....Okay the reality is there is no cure, no solution and no suggestions.  You can however be grateful that the person that is tearing that a$$ up is a BEAST and that you are not laying on the bed wishing that it was over like some of your unlucky friends.  Someone right now is reading this wishing that STS was transferable and that they could have a reason to scream during sex instead of about the lack of or the poor sex that they are currently receiving.

So STS sufferers, be proud!! The next time you see that person that causes your legs to shake and your vocabulary to mimic that of a sailor.  You walk right up to them, look them in the eye and say you are a beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeep beeeeeepity beeeeep beeep beeep beast and I am thankful you sexy beeeepity beep beep beep!!!!!(Baby, I am on my way to tell you!! LOL)

Realities of Relationship

True or False - In order for a relationship to be successful you have to change.

(Cue Jeopardy music)

The answer is yes and no.  I was talking with my significant other (S.O.) and the conversation veered its way to the early days of our relationship.  I was reminded of how confident I was and how since I had nothing to lose, in a sense, I behaved and responded in a way that was found both sexy and appealing.  My S.O. was attracted to my east coast attitude and my quick tongue and somehow I let both simmer down to a point that I was slowly become someone other than the person that she entered into a relationship with. What happened to that girl? Where did I go?  At what point in our few month long relationship did I flip the script?

 I had become a "pleaser".  In trying to "make" a successful relationship I tried to tailor my behavior and responses to what I thought would be pleasing.  I endeavored not to complain when a complaint would have been the reasonable response.  I turned into a demure, passive, silent type which, anyone who knows anything about me knows, is no where near my personality type.

Hearing that my boo missed the side of me that was a little rowdy, a little dramatic and slightly emotional was a breath of fresh air. The truth is a relationship cannot be made it has to be lived.  We are two different people that have entered into something that has a life of its own.  In all things change is required but it should never alter the core of who you are.  If your cologne makes your partner sneeze..change it! If your cursing causes your boo to cringe during every conversation, consider picking up a copy of a Vocabulary Builder . If your shuga dumpling says every time you breathe they wish that you would stop..take a deep breath..grab your Coach bag..and start the car (waiting for them to move from in front of it is optional)

Change for the better is a good thing when the source of that change is you.  I am grateful that someone took time to notice that the person I am is pretty fly and that I need to be confident in that.  Today is a good day to look at who you are and take account of what makes you great...Today I was reminded that fly is not a characteristic..it is a way of life!.Embrace it, Love it, Live it!

Tonight is the night....

Tonight I have decided to give up something that is very special to me. I know I should save it, but I feel like this is the right time and it is going to be very special. I know that right now I am a member of an elusive group of people that have not given it up, but I think now is the time. I am a little nervous because I have never done this before but I have been told that after the first time, I will not be as nervous and it will not be nearly as painful.....so here goes......wait for it...a few more moments...POP!!!! There went my Blogging cherry!!! (okay pervs I hope you didn't think i was discussing something else)

Today is a special day. Today I have chosen a very public forum for my very private thoughts. Fly Girl Interrupted is a place where I can share everything from life and love to new hair care products and eye shadows. It is a place where I am free to be me without rules and without judgment. It is my soapbox and my diary, my boardroom and my bedroom. Here I am words without a face, spoken in truth and under girded in reality.

So here goes...once I hit publish, my blog virginity is gone and it will be official...I don't know what tomorrow brings but I cannot wait to Blog all about it....oh and keep in mind that pretty may fade and cute gets old but please believe - Fly is Forever....