Friday, April 23, 2010

Public Service Announcement - Sexual Tourette Syndrome



Have you ever experienced mind blowing, earth shattering, heart breaking, soul shaking love making (thanks En Vogue)? During this time did you (or your partner) feel the inclination to yell out your partners name, words, terms and/or slurs that you do not commonly use on a day to day basis.  If so you are not alone.  I too suffer from this disorder.  It is called Sexual Tourette Syndrome (STS).

If you or a loved one have ever been on the verge of an orgasm and yelled out random expletives, body parts, vulgar names, or requested to be spanked, choked, rammed or uttered the term "beat it up", you may suffer from this disorder.  But do not despair, there is help.  

The next time you find yourself bent over, pressed up against a wall or stretched like a pretzel while on a queen sized bed and you feel the wave of a delicious orgasm swell through your body you can......well you should....if it is available you ought to....Okay the reality is there is no cure, no solution and no suggestions.  You can however be grateful that the person that is tearing that a$$ up is a BEAST and that you are not laying on the bed wishing that it was over like some of your unlucky friends.  Someone right now is reading this wishing that STS was transferable and that they could have a reason to scream during sex instead of about the lack of or the poor sex that they are currently receiving.

So STS sufferers, be proud!! The next time you see that person that causes your legs to shake and your vocabulary to mimic that of a sailor.  You walk right up to them, look them in the eye and say you are a beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeep beeeeeepity beeeeep beeep beeep beast and I am thankful you sexy beeeepity beep beep beep!!!!!(Baby, I am on my way to tell you!! LOL)

2 Interruptions...(comments):

Unknown said...

"Hello. My name is Martha. And I have STS. I loved to beeeeeeeeeep until the bleeep beeep head board bleeeeep fall off.

"HI, MARTHA!"

Shana said...

Hahahahahaha! I wonder what the 12 step program would look like. Could you imagine if your family staged an Intervention..that would be a hot, buttery mess...Granny sitting across the table telling you she loves you and wishes you would stop bleepity bleeping to such late hours...hahahaha...

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