Today Yesterday was going to be throwback Thursday and I was going to tell a funny story about something that happened to me some years ago that had an effect on me. Well leave it to my life to change that. I was on the way home and since me and the boy had not had dinner yet I decided to grab some fine McDonald's Cuisine (sans toy because my son has had some behavior issues and nothing says loving like an 'un-Happy Meal) before we headed to the house. I was extremely excited because I had an Oreo McFlurry and I had been feening for something sweet.
So..we drive home and just as we go to turn left into the housing gate (I live on a military base) the officer at the gate directs me to turn into another area. At this point, I do not know what is going on, all I know is that I have a sweet tea and a McFlurry that was calling my name and I did not have time to play these Major Payne war games. I pull into the designated area and immediately my truck is flanked by random high ranking military members and police officers. All I could think about was "Oh Lord, whose cheerios did I pee in to make them get me like this?", it was 11:00 and all I wanted to do was go home and lay it down. One of the random Men in Uniform (sort of like Men in Black with no one nearly as fine as Will Smith) informed me that this was a random measure to submit all active duty personnel that came through this particular gate to random drug testing. I looked at him like he was crazy, not because of the drug testing, but because of the fate of my delicious yet melting Oreo delight that was in my cup holder.
Well..after the officer searched my vehicle and made me put my phone in my glove box (nobody puts Berry in a glove box, I will be writing a strongly worded letter about that!) me and my son had to board a bus to be taken to the Urinalysis testing area. Now for you civilians that may happen to come across this blog, drug testing in the military is very evasive. Once in a stall, an observer has to see the urine leave your--I will just say body--and enter the cup. There is no pee and place in a window. Someone is there with you from the time you get your cup in your hand to the time you are placing it, full, on the counter to be sealed and packaged for shipment to the lab. It is a rather embarrassing process but thankfully I do not have shy bladder and while the nice lady rattled on about something, I did my thing and made haste out of the restroom.
Once I finished my duty so to speak, I was allowed to retrieve my belongings, to include my 4 year old, and wait for a bus ride back to the housing gate where my truck, my BlackBerry and my Oreo McFlurry waited for my return. Once in the car, to my dismay, my ice cream was melted, my cell phone was acting up because of the temporary neglect and my son was delirious from a lack of sleep. It was now after midnight and all I had to show for it was an empty bladder, a wilted side salad, a watered down sweet tea and 43 missed tweets..so much for throwback Thursday, this is more like Melted McFlurry Friday!!!
0 Interruptions...(comments):
Post a Comment