Some Say the Blacker the Berry...

....the sweeter the juice; the darker the flesh, the deeper the roots....

On so many levels that should be beneficial to a deep chocolate sister like me..but oh no, I am here to tell you it is not.

Picture it elementary school 1989, I was in the fifth grade and I developed my very first crush.  His name was Wi--okay I am not saying, but anyway--he was handsome, smart, fit and he looked simply dashing in his school uniform. One day one of my friends went and told him that I was pining over him, unbeknown to me of course, that is until she came over to me and shared his reply.  My crush thought I was nice but he was not interested because I was just to dark.  Up until that point my complexion was never really an issue for me.  My mom was caramel complected and my daddy is very dark so I saw both ends of the spectrum. I did not understand what the big deal was then and I had no idea that is was the beginning of a cycle that still has not broken in my life.

To understand me there are a couple of things that you must know.  I have always been the girl thathad a large circle of friends because of my sense of humor and my quick wit.  I never struggled in making and keeping friends, male or female. Once I got to high school and really begin to "smell myself" like my grandmother would say, I began to hear one common line from the opposite sex (that I still hear).  "Yeah, I know her...do I like her?..I mean yeah she cool...she is cute to be a Dark-skinned girl." What the....? When did cute have a complexion clause.  I am so sick of the light is right--black is whack attitude that I get all the time in the dating arena. 

There are certain things about myself that I will not/cannot change. I am who I am, the skin I'm in is alright by me..No, I am not trying to revisit the Back to Africa movement. No, I do not rock a fist pick in my curly fro. No my ringtone does not chime 'Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud' (even though I am) and no I have not raised a fist for the cause and chanted Power to the People at various hours of the night but that does not change the fact that I am a black woman, phenomenally (shout out to Maya Angelou). I have feelings and emotions..issues and problems like everyone else regardless of their skin tone. But what I do not have and what I will not make part of my life is a complex about my complexion...Thank you India Arie for loving Brown Skin and thank you Eric Benet for going home to Chocolate Legs...Everyone is entitled to have a preference, we all have certain characteristics that we find pleasing over others--I get it.  I am not a hater, all I am saying is chocolate girls need love too.