Mother's Day Musing

Thirty years and some months ago, the woman who I would eventually know as my mother went to the doctor concerned over 5 pounds that she could not lose.  It was the month of June and she had been eating right and everything but could not lose the last of the weight she was trying to shed.  Sitting in the doctors office, there was no way for her to be prepared for what the Doctor would come in and say. The results of all the tests were in, the 5 pounds that she was trying to lose were ME. Her and the doctor went round and round about the hows, whys and can you do the test again.  After a while, my mother grabbed her purse and walked out of that office in shock.  Her and my father had been separated for a couple months and my brother was 14 years old.  There was no way she could be pregnant. Unfortunately she did not have much time for it to sink in, a month later she found her self in pain.  She went to the hospital and after a relatively normal labor, I was born.  No one knew exactly  how far along she was because her first OB/GYN appointment was not for another couple of days. When I was born there was no denying that I was real, I had her smile and curly hair and my Dad's chocolate skin tone.  I had arrived and there was nothing left to do but go forward.

For the next few years, I had more love than any child could possibly want.   My mom and dad stayed separated, but there was always more than enough family around to fill any voids.  I was growing up with a mom that loved me and was willing to do whatever it took to ensure that I was happy, loved  and provided for.  I was a normal kid doing normal things until I came home from school that one day in the third grade. I walked in the house and I knew something was different.  My mom had been in the hospital a lot that year but I had no idea what was going on.  When I walked around the house, everyone was looking at me as if they had something to say to me but no one knew if they should.  I looked all around for my "Ga-Ga" (my mothers best friend and my Godmother) to see what was happening. When I finally found her I knew something was wrong.  She told me to sit down and once I did she began to tell me that my mother was gone.  I had no idea what she meant--gone where, I asked.  When she responded Heaven, I still did not get it--It was not until I saw the tears and asked to go see her that I finally began to understand that my Mother had passed away.

For the next few days everything was a blur, I still remember how people looked at me when they would walk by.  I did not know at that time that I was now an orphan.  My mom was gone, and in his own way, so was my dad.  My godmother would be the one to raise me from that point on.  Looking back on those days still brings tears to my eyes.  My mother, even though I only knew her for a short time, was an awesome woman.  She had a dry sense of humor that I somehow inherited and a thousand mega-watt smile that would light up a room. I still remember seeing her during one of the trips to the hospital, her hair was very short and it was so soft and curly because it had just started growing back. She was still so strong and so beautiful even though the cancer had spread from her breast to the rest of her body.  I had no idea that that visit was going to be one of the last times that I saw her.

I am grateful for the 7 years that I had with my mother, but I cannot help wondering what my life would have been like had I been able to have her for longer.  This mother's day, I am thankful that she gave me life and I hope that her death was not in vain.  I encourage all of you to do monthly breast exams and when the time comes please have a mammogram. If not for you, for those that love you.  Mother's day to me is still a day to celebrate.  I celebrate life, I celebrate love and I celebrate my Mother--Never forgotten, I Love you!!